Prince of Darkness, 1987
A: I actually really liked this movie. It’s ’80s horror camp to the best degree. It features stupid characters, shitty effects, and a lot of things happening really fast and/or without reason.
A bunch of science grad students (literally a bunch of them, I couldn’t even keep track) go to an abandoned church to inspect this weird goo and figure out what it is. Turns out it’s the devil that possesses people and turns them into zombies as it tries to get out and take over the world.
For grad students, everyone seems really stupid - I guess that’s why they’re grad students HAR HAR HAR! But seriously. The priest who calls for this experiment is absolutely bonkers. It’s weird to me that any science person would believe the psychotic ramblings of an old man. Maybe the students because they’re young, but the professor leading the experiment is super gung-ho right away.
For over half the film nobody suspects anything anyway. I think at least 4 people go missing before the thought that it’s somehow connected to the goo or the church crosses anyone’s mind. This girl even has a bruise with a cross on it that slowly gets worse and everyone is all very “whatever” about it. And then her skin starts to fall off so it shows how much they know.
On the other hand, this is why the movie is so fun. Almost everything that happens is a “WUT” moment because it happens so fast. Like how one of the main male students takes the sexy redhead girl student on a date and at at the very start of it, she goes on about how she’s afraid of getting hurt…and in the very next scene they’re in bed together. WUT?
I don’t want to describe anything else because 1) I can’t even remember the plot that well, and 2) I really want you to be surprised by all the “WUT” moments. Watching it reminded me of all those random crappy horror paperbacks that I used to read over an afternoon in the summer. Terribly written and totally cheesy, but memorable for all the cheep thrills you got while reading it.
S: I usually like shit like this, so I feel bad writing this - but I didn’t like this one. It sounds like something I’d be in to, right? I mean, grad students, religion and possession? GOO?! I was really psyched to watch it and then just felt incredibly “meh” about it by the end.
Yes, it has that excellent 80s feel to it. Yes, it has a lot of “WUT” going on. I even liked how the females were possessed first, I loved the thread of, “Where’s Susan?” “Who?” “Radiologist? Glasses?”. And can we talk about racial diversity? Christ, they had every angle covered! I liked all of that.
I just did not care at all for the rest of it, basically. The plot made zero sense to me. The grad students all looked 35+, I had no feels about the relationship aspect so I didn’t care when the girl unnecessarily died, which reminds me that a girl unnecessarily died. There was a lot of waiting for things to happen followed by a huge amount of time with nothing happening. I felt like a lot of the film was just us watching their meandering trial and error attempts to understand and escape. Locked in a room? Jump out a window! Wait, there are possessed hobos down there. Jump back in the window! Now we’re back where we started and nothing has happened AT ALL.
The only real perk about this whole thing was the very cool, very nasty make up at the end. I could deal with it for awhile, and then it actually began to make me feel ill. Sometimes all you need a bit of peeling skin and some blood, guys.
It’s not that I hated the movie, and if you watch it, I won’t judge you - but there are so many more options for great 80s horror movies that I don’t think this one is worth the time.
1.5 Alice Cooper hobo zombies out of 5